Why Am I Eating This Now? Live: Align Your Life and Eating is open for registration. Enter code earlybird or earlybirdpp (for payment plan) to save $100 if you register by tomorrow.
Want a free sneak peek? My free A Cookie Isn’t Just a Cookie workshop: How to Stop Stress Eating is today at noon. More details and register here.
In my last email, I shared why Atomic Habit-eque change approaches don’t work if you’re in a life phase where your life has lots of unpredictability from parenting, health challenges, work, and/or late stage capitalism. And, the habits you’re trying to change require nuance, not “automatic” thinking.
What works to be able to navigate the nuances and specifics of your unique life?
Psychological flexibility.
And I’m not talking about the creative, innovative, and out of need flexibility women and marginalized folks have been doing for centuries to survive (and yet it’s only recognized and funded as “genius” when Tech Bros are involved).
Or the flexibility of dropping everything for everyone else.
Or the flexibility of “It’s no problem. Of course I can.”
I’m talking about “in choice” flexibility.
“In choice” flexibility means you respond to stress in a way that aligns with your values and goals (for food and life).
As Rachel Goldman, PhD, FTOS, a psychologist and clinical assistant professor at the NYU School of Medicine says,
“What psychological flexibility boils down to is staying in the present moment and being open to experiencing whatever thoughts or feelings may arise, and then take action that is aligned with our values [and beliefs].”
Or as I’ve experienced it metaphorically this last week as I said good-bye to my childhood home, my parents temporarily moved in with us, Eça had a rash and I was up with him several nights (he’s fine now, thank the Goddess), and I’m launching two programs at once:
This requires being able to stay with big reactions so you don’t spiral. Like when you’re feeling:
- Behind and going to miss out
- Unsure and hyper-vigilant, and maybe catastrophizing
- Guilty for wanting what you want (food and otherwise)
- Disappointment and sadness
Emotional reactions to stress are normal, human, and are to be expected. Yet when they feel bigger than you can handle, you turn to food. This turning to food thwarts learning the skill-set of psychological flexibility. #doublewhammy.
In WAIETN LIVE: Align Your Life and Eating, you’ll learn how to be savvy in psychological flexibility. You’ll learn:
- What triggers your food noise and short-circuits psychological flexibility because you’re focused on food, not the stress making you turn to food
- The protective stress strategies that have worked brilliantly and thus, make you closed off from considering new ways to handle your stress
- How to intellectually and somatically support yourself to grow your capacity greater than the inevitable stressful emotions so you can see the situation anew instead of the ways you always see the job, person, food, exercise, etc.
- Emergent new values that support psychological flexibility and sustainability (plot twist: your current values and beliefs are part of the problem. More on this in today’s workshop and tomorrow’s email).
Needing to learn flexibility can be counter-intuitive because we all hear, “You need to be consistent to get results.”
But consistency doesn’t have to be rigid ????! Meaning, you don’t have to eat, exercise or do life the same way, all the time for results. Again, this thwarts learning more flexible, nuanced thinking.
A more flexible idea of consistency is momentum.
Momentum is the snowball rolling down the hill picking up steam, going farther than you can see right now, not the Sisyphean boulder of having complete control over your food and the stressful reasons you turn to food.
And therein lies perhaps the deepest knowing and “result” that comes out of WAIETN: repairing your self-trust. By learning psychological flexibility, you’ll learn how to keep showing up for yourself and who and what matters most to you in life. Sustainably.
These choices won’t look the same all the time. It will all depend on which way the wind blows. And yet, there will be a strong center, with threads back to sustainable, re-imagined values that align with the life you want to live. And then your eating falls into place. No white knuckling required.
What I can now name is that my most common quote for 18 years of “Diet starts tomorrow” was a fantasy of perfect conditions to start. And every day, I’m so damn grateful they never arrived.
The emotional capacity, deep intellectual richness, and the life of freedom I have built would’ve never happened. Or been sustained.
I am a masterful coach and teacher, confident going-my-own-way Mama, dedicated partner, daughter, friend, and a better citizen. And I’m compassionate with myself in all the places I fall short so I can continue to grow because of psychological flexibility.
My stress eating goal wanted something from me. I’m grateful every day that I accepted the invitation.
What does your stress eating goal want from you?
Let’s find out and the strength in flexibility together in
WAIETN Live: Align Your Life and Eating
SIGN UP
Register by tomorrow for $100 off with coupon code earlybird
Or, for the payment plan, earlybirdpp
Want to learn more?
Here’s more on who this program is for (bad joiners who hate small talk welcome!), how we’ll break the cycle, client results, and success stories.
For a sneak peek join my free “A Cookie Isn’t Just a Cookie: How to Stop Stress Eating” workshop TODAY at 12 pm EST, where we will go over the four triggers that lead to inflexibility. More deets and register here.
Be Well,
P.S. Are you a change agent that doesn’t want to give clients more rules or tools and instead, unleash their flexible thinking? Are you looking for a process around complex change that meets clients exactly where they are and will uplevel your confidence, impact, and business? Consider my Truce Coaching Certification, which opens for registration from September 19-October 6.
For a sneak peek, sign up for these three upcoming events. They’re all on Tuesdays at 12 pm EST.
- The Missing Piece in Sustainable Change: Understanding Complex Change (9/19)
- Walk Your Talk: The Business Case for Personal Development (9/26)
- TCC Alumni Open House (10/3)
Sign up here or learn more about TCC.
In TCC, we learn how to help our clients experience psychological flexibility, including how to get out of the binaries of sensitive areas (read: being all or nothing). By revealing new choices, we guide them to new experiences of relief, deep satisfaction and self-trust. WAIETN is just one version of a program created that was derived from my TCC methodology.
“Why Am I Eating This Now? was the perfect program to show me how to stop crashing and burning. I had tried to manage my autoimmune disorder through food with great results until I crashed and burned. I was convinced I had a compulsive eating disorder. Why Am I Eating This Now? was the perfect program to show me how to stop crashing and burning. I learned more about myself than I expected; to say it was eye opening would be an understatement. Using the tools I learned, I’ve now had break-through moments where I can work through the urge to eat without eating. I know I got this!” –Laurie Horwitz
“I truly thought I’d never break free from emotional eating but I have. I joined Why Am I Eating This Now? (WAIETN) because I wanted to move forward in my own self-development. I was able to discover the deeper conflict around my food battle, including how it protects me and how to move forward. I exceeded my own expectations for my progress, I was challenged and I will continue to make these changes in my life as I have found my Boss mindset. I’ve been binge free for over a year post-WAIETN. I truly thought I’d never break free from emotional eating but I have.” –Lourdes Brolly
“I stopped slipping with healthy eating and have the tools to keep going. Why Am I Eating This Now? (WAIETN) is about getting to the root of things, not hovering on the surface as too many other programs/plans do. As a result, I stopped slipping with my healthy eating and falling into old thought patterns. I got unstuck and have the tools to keep going. One year out of the WAIETN process and using the tools, I’ve lost 20 pounds.” –Dr. Tina H. Boogren
Want more content like this where we get to the roots of your sustainable change battle like food, exercise, and overworking?
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