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A Tool to Eat Moderately Over the Holidays

We’re on the cusp of another holiday season.

We all need a respite from the onslaught that was 2017 without adding to the Trump 10.

Right now in Truce with Food: Tapas Style, we’re working through automatic pilot eating.

When you slow this habit down, underneath is:

  • Eating so we don’t say the thing that we really want to say.
  • Eating because we don’t want to feel angry.
  • Eating eat because we are So. Damn. Exhausted.

This “I don’t care” (but I do) eating root cause is what I call the “good girl” mindset.

The Good Girl mindset craves wanting to be wanted.

It wants to smash the patriarchy yet feels bad and guilty for doing so.

It worries about rocking the boat. Feeling selfish. Being high-maintenance.

In Truce with Food, we transform the good girl mindset to what I call the Boss mindset, with wise rebellion. The Boss mindset knows how to get its needs met, creating a sense of emotional safety. When we feel emotionally safe, we don’t overeat.

One powerful question to orient towards the Boss mindset this holiday season is:

“How do you want this Holiday Season to end?”

And then work backwards to identify what’s important to you at Thanksgiving. With Christmas. And Festivus, for the rest of us!

When I was battling food, I didn’t want to be out of control around food and have to spend January burning off the holiday season. Yet I didn’t know how to be moderate.

Had I looked beyond the peanut butter blossoms, I’d have realized the holiday magic could be surprising myself that food didn’t have to be the highlight. I needed to think what I wanted out of the holidays instead of going with the capitalistic, cultural flow.

Only dead fish go with the flow.
–Swedish proverb

Here’s a holiday planning tool to be a sage-rebel this holiday season and prevent the all-or-nothing overeating bender. Moderation is the new radical!

 

 

Now, if this feels selfish…you must be Catholic.

Just Slightly kidding…

While the Catholics do recognize the most prolific martyrs, also being half-Jewish, I know female guilt knows no religious bounds!

There is nuance and complexity to this.

In my Truce with Food groups, initially experimenting with the Boss mindset, feels selfish because culturally, we bring a win-lose definition to selfish.

It’s their way or mine. If I get my way, someone else won’t.

As Elizabeth Gilbert pointed out,

“In Mandarin Chinese, they have two words for selfish. One means doing that which is beneficial to you and the other means hoarding, greedy, and cruel. We, in English, have pushed those two words together.”

Where’s the Win-Win?

When you get clear on what you want and ask the people you care about, what they want (don’t assume), beautiful insights and win-win experiences emerge.

You don’t need to eat to manage conflict.

In our Insatiable podcast episode, Healthy Boundaries for Kind People During the Holidays Randi Buckley suggests,

Before you arrive at Thanksgiving or a party, ask your host what they’d love to get out of the experience. Not what you can bring per se, but what their hopes are as a host.

There’s so many other gifts of clarity in this episode, including my favorite unconventional portion control tip ever. After all, normal is not working so well.

Listen to Randi’s episode here or read the transcript on more ideas to interrupt your automatic pilot.

You are magic and magical.

 

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Episode #101: 10 Truths to Invigorate your Wellness Journey

October 15 marked 10 years for me as an entrepreneur in the wellness space, studying, practicing and synthesizing what it means to be well. What a trip! What a ride this continues to be.

In today’s episode, I want to share 10 wellness truths my clients and I have experienced.  I hope these insights will help invigorate your journey if you have momentum or support you to get you unstuck if you’re struggling.

Coming from me, who has many more questions than answers, settling on what was true was a fun challenge.

And, there’s an unexpected announcement at the end you’ll want to pay attention to so you aren’t confused!

And if you’d like a copy of the Top 10 Truths, you can find the blog post here.

Photo credit: https://unsplash.com/@brianwertheim

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Episode #100: Turning the Tables: Ali is interviewed

In place of our normal intro, I want to thank our Insatiable community for such an epic start to the podcast.

Yes, at 100, we are just getting started!

I love the thinking and conversations Insatiable has sparked, as debating ideas is one of my favorite things in the entire world.

Especially around our health and bodies, which is one of the greatest mysteries among the grandest mystery of life.

Thank you for inviting me into your lives. Thank you for your questions, your feedback and sharing it with the people in your lives. And special thank you to those of you have left reviews.

I also want to say a special thank-you to Juliet, one of the original hosts for starting Insatiable with me and being such a standout human being. I was just at her wedding last month and was reminded of how powerful that girl is. So thank you Juliet for your gifts and spark to get Insatiable rolling.

And I also want to thank all the incredible guests we’ve had on the podcast. I have learned so much. So much. One reason I love the health field is you have some of the most amazing, giving, altruistic people.

You don’t get into health if you don’t care about humanity. So thank you to all our guests, my clients included. I am so grateful for all of you sharing your stories. Sharing your work. Sharing the talents and gifts you’ve spent time cultivating. We are all better for it.

And with that, let’s get to Episode 100, where my client Liza turns the tables and interviews me! We get into the influences of my work, the important healing reasons I designed Truce with Food the way it is and what I’m working on in my own health and with my work to support more people becoming liberated in their bodies and lives.

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Episode #99: What’s underneath “I need to diet” with Health Coach Laura Folkes

For many people, the feeling of “I need to diet” is the background music of their lives. Sometimes it’s at lower volumes and then sometimes, it’s at so loud it drives a panic to find a new diet or approach to quiet the thoughts down.

In today’s episode, we talk with my client Laura Folkes about:

  1. Her journey of losing 60 pounds yet finding herself trapped in the fear of gaining the weight back that lead to a battle with food
  2. How adding in this food group was life-changing and helped stabilize her thoughts and appetite around food
  3. What she discovered was really happening underneath feeling fat and like she needed to count points again to lose weight

Laura B. Folkes is a graduate of the Institute for Integrative Nutrition (IIN) and is a Certified Holistic Health Coach. She supports busy adults who know what they should be eating but have a hard time sticking to it by helping them identify the root cause of what’s keeping them from sticking to what they know works. She ensures her clients don’t feel deprived by guiding them to make small, incremental changes so the journey is more enjoyable. After successfully losing 60 pounds and working through her own emotional relationship with food, Laura recognizes there are many factors keeping individuals from sticking to what they know works but it’s her mission to help others overcome these factors to become healthier and happier.

To learn more visit www.laurabfolkes.com or contact Laura at laura@laurabfolkes.com.

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Personal reflections on 10 years in the wellness world + business shifts!

This past Sunday was my birthday. But I also have my business birthday coming up on October 15. Ten years ago on that day, I left my corporate job and became a full-time health counselor (that’s what we were called back then).

As one of my favorite artists Paul Simon says, 10 years come and gone so fast I might as well have been dreaming …

I had no idea what discovering the radical truth for my body was about to bring.

I felt so liberated in my body, I wanted to spread the good news. Helping people was literally my business plan. I have appreciation and hysterical laughter for my naivety.

Building a methodical body of work on such a complex dynamic between food and our feelings hasn’t been easy. Especially in a culture that largely values the surface of things. But the most meaningful things in life are rarely easy.

I wouldn’t have survived the darkest days or took the big, scary leaps without the otherworldly devotion from my parents, my entrepreneurial idol and sister, Julia, and of course, Carlos.

Carlos: I love you more today than the 12.5 years ago we met. Thank you for loving all of me, especially during launches!

And of course my Grandma, who planted the seeds of my work with her progressive spirit; she “got” nutrition 50 years before Whole Foods was a glint in the Universe’s eye. I feel her love of philosophy and people everyday in my work.

I’m humbled and awed at the generational, team effort involved in the freedom to fully pursue the longing in our hearts.

Another huge thank you goes to Kristin. She was first a client and for the past five years, has been an amazing support and advocate for my work as my Operational rock-star. Her operational brain and social justice perspective and efforts keep me focused on what matters, in all ways.

I sooo appreciate those of you reading this. Thank you for engaging with my work. For those who listen to the podcast and share Insatiable with your health-care providers, friends and family. I delight in all the conversations it has sparked!

And to my clients. Whether you’ve taken a workshop, worked with me privately or have participated in one of my programs, my work doesn’t come alive without you.

Your leap of trust in yourself and me, I have never taken lightly. I’m honored our paths have intertwined. Thank you for being brave. Thank you for taking agency with your body so you can show others what’s possible beyond the diet culture. I imagine how much more efficiently we can get results when more of the world “gets it” 8-)

Together, we are breaking new ground, going where science and society will eventually catch up to the transformative truth of a holistic approach (and what indigenous cultures have always known).

Until we value our emotions as much as what we eat and how we workout, an unimaginative vision of what’s possible for our health will be the controlling narrative.

You’re living proof of what humans are capable of at their best. Your unfolding is what has kept me fascinated and devoted all these years.

Thanks to my clients and the data we’ve generated together, lots of shifts are coming here:

I’ll be licensing Truce with Food to coaches of all stripes (health, life, etc), therapists, and other health professionals who want a new set of transformational change tools to incorporate into your practice for those struggling with food and implementing healing protocols. I know many of you here are in the health-care and wellness fields. If this interests you, stay tuned!

I’ve also been doing organizational speaking events and institutional health-care consulting. If you are in an organization that is looking for speakers or consulting around making healthy changes stick, please reach out to me.

And for those of you here, I will continue to be rolling out new types of blog posts and podcasts that align with what I stand for: Radical Truth for Every Body.

I’ll be back shortly with 10 Truths I now know having been at my work for 10 years.

To think this 10-year milestone is just the beginning excites me to know end. But first, a nap!

In deep gratitude and awe…

Be well,

Ali

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